dancing, coffee, and the washroom

Anna just finally got home from her Pilgrimage to the Holy Land.

It is so wonderful to have her here again. I am extra lucky... 1) I get Anna home 2) I get to be the recipient of the revitalizing spirit she brings along with her from the Holy Land. I love hearing pilgrim stories, their experiences, their ideas, internal struggles remedied. Love it.

i was getting lonely used to seeing at all of her things here without her...having to remind myself there is an actual person who makes those things come alive....

Life sola in Lucknow is quite interesting. I am constantly surrounded by people, children, conversation, chaiwallas, and such - but even in this whirlpool of energy, if you are alone here, you are really alone. Its the internal kind of alone that gets you - the kind where you go home to escape by watching a Friends episode on youtube for a couple hours. The kind where you find yourself running to answer your cell phone, even though you know its going to be one of those hindi spam callers. I definitely did a lot of writing (not on my blog obviously), life planning, and brain cleanups. Worked out some internal worries. Reminded myself that I can do all the things Anna does: getting around, conversing with Deepmala, planning out finances. Showed myself i never actually lost 'it', in fact, i still got it...it just shifted a bit.

So, it was actually good for me to know i wasn't as illfitted as i thought. Im actually kind of awesome in the Lucknow comfort i have acquired. But im not going to lie, it is relieving to have her home. I do realize this may sound extremely codependant to some of you...but you don't know Anna. Anna's the kind of gal you want around all the time -even when she is in a bad mood- just because you have so much fun with her. And i have had enough frustrating moments in this brief 27 and 3/4 years- im over negative nancy - im all about giggly fun now. "Fluff and Butter" - thats what my high school drama teacher would say.

Here are some pictures and notes of some things that went down while she was gone.

Pratyush's brother's wedding reception.


Athena and I finally got to partake in some sort of wedding festivity! We didn't exactly have the proper attire, but made the best of it with our nicest kurtas (or what we considered to be nice), and a good hair wash blowdry. I still haven't been sari shopping unfortunately. Part of me thinks this is self preservation...fear I would walk into the sari shop - suddenly become overwhelmed by the beauty before me - and spend my whole month's salary on just about everything i touched (which would be so so easy btw). I plan on buying two...one fancy, one casual. I guess we will have to take it slow and see what happens.

This is my best Pre-Top Model contestant pose.






Athena and I, trying to smile with our eyes...

...Tyra wasn't too impressed.

Pratyush (one of our co-workers) kindly invited us to his brother's pre-wedding ceremony.
I wasn't exactly sure which ceremony this was (there are many), but it was just the groom (no bride in site) and 300 of his closest family and friends.

Athena and I arrived 30 minutes late (indian translation: we were still 30 minutes early), and respectfully took our seats in the back on the women's side of the room. It was quite the production with a huge tent, lights, balloons, popcorn and cotton candy machines for the kids, pu pus to be eaten a the beginning and a ton more food for afterwards, including a Sikh dj blasting the music. It was quite the site.

Pratyush saw we had arrived and of course, relocated us to the front. Meaning, the seats in the front, next to the stage, reserved for the family...directly facing the 300 guests...Yeah. that was us. So much for the Chinese and Mexican girl hanging out in the back. At the main stage, rituals between the groom and the bride's brother were performed. I later learned this was the dowry ceremony...so many gifts, fruits, flowers, and cash were exchanged. I had no clue what was going on of course, but it definitely made for a memorable experience.




Now, since I have hit my 3 month mark i have learned a couple things:

1) Do not assume a n y t h i n g.

For instance: There is a dowry ceremony. I could have assumed the bride would be there to participate. No. I was wrong. She was no where in site.

2) Ask q u e s t i o n s...If you don't understand, or think you won't understand, or want to understand the why of anything...then you should ask - because it won't necessarily be explained to you. People will assume you know, or you don't care to know- or the worst case- you are an insensitive westerner.

For instance: There is a dj with music and a dance floor - great! We can all dance. No. Just men and children danced....no women.



In regards to the dancing, I have to ask more questions. Especially since i heard my friends say they have seen women dancing at weddings. Is it a caste thing? Was it a dowry ceremony thing? Was this a village thing? Was this a woman thing? Who knows, but I will definitely be asking Patryush.

Anyway.

Just men and children dance.




<------[The fearless dj:) Such a balla.]

Like all things, we of course learned this the fun way.

At the beginning of the dancing portion, just the kids were participating. Athena and I were standing on the sidelines...pretending we blended in. Nikita (Pratyush's 6 year old daughter who knows us from work) spotted us and pulled us onto the dance floor. "Nahi Nahi!" I screamed!...and then Pratyush saw this and of course insisted that we dance, by going full on Bollywood Style dancing - right on the dance floor.

Speechless.

He motioned for us to join in...i looked at him, looked at the 40 men/boys closely gathered, staring at Athena and I, and I swear I wanted to be shot down dead...




And like a good guest, i mustered some up some chutzpa - must have had some left over - and 'danced'.

It was us (alone) and the music.
The videographer.
The photographer.
and a group of 150 men watching.


why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why
why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why
why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why
??????????????????????????????????

Finally, the men started in, and we could stop. Thank the gods.



I am officially a Ma'm, and wished to be addressed as such.

Athena's parents were visiting India for a week, and when they left a couple days ago - she was kind of down. So what do when you feel down in Lucknow?

Go to Barista of course:)

Barista is our little get away from home. They serve 'Italian' Coffee which is actually good (or whatever my new standard for 'good' is). Air conditioning, iced tea, muffins, paneer chili wraps. It is by far my biggest downfall in Lucknow...Im sure I pay their rent.

So, I know this picture is blurry, but we were tickled at my name on the receipt.
You can see for yourself, 2nd line up from the dotted line.

*Customer Name: Mam


Oh, now I get it.












Athena and I went to the mall, and decided to pop into Home Land (aka: a cross between Ikea and Home Depot).

And this is what we saw.
It is all so very clear now.