like everything in life, growing up with divorced parents has its good parts and not so good parts.
* at 17 you can get out of any speeding ticket - claiming you are rushing off for dad time.
* you belong to the elite my parents are divorced, so on some level, i am a closeted control freak club.
* you are intensely aware. of everyone's needs.
not so good parts.
*people were missed.
internally, i have worked out the not so good...the un-cohesiveness of it all. allowing myself to be comfortable with my experience. knowing that its all OK. not defining. not comparing myself to others (pointless comparisons are...pointless). im passed all of it. enough. im proud to say i can see the good - the good and the murky. and it is just that, murky goodness with lots of layers in between. my family. oh how i love and enjoy them.
lately i have enjoyed watching my parents' current relationship from afar. life after the kids are way gone. she's a petite lady from hawaii. he's a tall jew from pennsylvania. and after 28 years, they still live within a 7 mile radius of each other in hendersonville, tn. separate lives, surrounded by the wal-mart, taco bell, ford car dealerships and jesus.
my parents are two of the most similar - and at the same time - completely different people i have ever met. it is painfully confusing. simply looking at them, one would never imagine they lived in the same neighborhood, let alone hung out long enough to get married and have children. both share the same love for music, art, humor, food, and health. they desire the same things out of life. however, they are the perfect example of how sometimes people must travel totally opposite paths in order to reach their similar destinations.
individually, mom and dad have always enjoyed photography - and are both very talented at it.
for a while now, dad has made a big push towards exploring his talent as a photographer- he has done a lot to cultivate and develop his art. recently, he had the opportunity to show his photography in Nashville with other local artists. its an incredible feeling to know anyone (let alone a parent) is getting the recognition they deserve. like pumpkin pie, its heartwarming goodness. the kids were excited for daddy-o. the morning of, i spoke with him on the phone. he let me know all the pics were printed and hung, and of course criticized this and that...made sure i knew he was learning a lot by just seeing the set up of the more experienced. he told me he was all prepared and ready for the people. dad was sweetly nervous and charged. i was sad i couldn't have been there.
an hour or so after i spoke to dad. mom called...
Heeeeeeey. What are you doing?
Getting ready for work. You?
Im driving to see your dad's showing.
Um, YES I'm GOING! I have known your father for a looong tiiimmme dear. I am the MOTHER of this chILdren...I can GO to his SHOW.
Wow...great! Well...can you take a picture of it for me? I want to see it!
Yeah, I'll call you - so you can talk to him.
No mom, im not in India - i just spoke with him. Just take a picture with your phone and send it to me, so I see how everything looks.
OoooKaY! I'm parked. Gotta go. LOVE YOU, BYE!
30 minutes later i received an email of my picture. subject: your dad.
i became confused.
yep, ok, there's daddy. thanks.
Really Mom?? WHERE are the displayed photos? He's sitting drinking coffee - watching the TITANS game on his macbook?! Like, this couldn't have been any other day - you couldn't have taken ANY other photos to send me besides Dad sitting down, watching football?!
Weeellllll, this is what your father was doing - no one had arrived yet. You wanted a picture.
Good. Thanks Mom.
so special. my mother using her iPhone to capture, yet another important moment.........
i didn't realize how special this picture actually was until max and i received an email with an attached photo from dad the following day.
subject: at the show
Your mother came to see the show. It was very sweet of her to do that and I really appreciated it. She was so funny, trying to get her iPhone to take a pic. I finally handed her my camera...she's the one who took that pic for Facebook. Hope you guys are all good. It was great talking to the both of you yesterday. Thanks for your wonderful support. It helps more than you can know.
at least they both are on the same page.
murky goodness = similar ridiculousness.